Shibari Lounge

Code of Conduct

Welcome to Shibari Lounge — an inclusive rope, kink, and community space committed to safety, respect, and authenticity.

We are a safe and supportive environment, both in person and online. With recent global events reminding us how vital safe spaces are — particularly for the trans and LGBTQIA+ community — we want to make it crystal clear:

There is no place for hate at Shibari Lounge.

This Code of Conduct applies to all workshops, events, rope jams, private sessions, and our online spaces including Discord, Instagram, and FetLife.

Our Commitment

Shibari Lounge is dedicated to providing a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of race, gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, age, religion, or social class. We do not tolerate harassment of participants in any form. We prioritise marginalised people’s safety over privileged people’s comfort.

This policy applies to all spaces, both online and offline. Anyone who violates this Code of Conduct may be sanctioned or expelled at the discretion of the Core Team.

The Shibari Lounge Core Team currently includes Bex-Bunny and Dark_Knot. Additional event leaders or facilitators may be invited into the space on a temporary basis.

Some Shibari Lounge events may include additional event-specific rules, which will be clearly communicated upon event booking confirmation. Participants are responsible for reviewing and following these guidelines.

Unacceptable Behaviour Includes (but is not limited to):

Physical:

  • Touching anyone — or their belongings (e.g. toys, rope) — without explicit consent

  • Interrupting a scene or aftercare without consent

  • Uncomfortable staring, standing too close to scenes, intimidating body language, or substance misuse

Non-Physical:

  • Sexist, racist, homophobic, fatphobic, transphobic, ableist, or otherwise discriminatory remarks

  • Aggressive flirting, predatory behaviour, or objectification

  • Comments about political views, clothing, or professions

  • Negative assumptions about someone based on appearance

  • Outing someone’s identity, real name, job, or location without consent

Your Responsibilities

✅ Be kind, respectful, and welcoming
✅ Honour pronouns and scene names
✅ Use inclusive and affirming language
✅ Communicate clearly in and out of scenes
✅ Ask for clarification when unsure

🚫 Do not assume someone’s role, orientation, or boundaries
🚫 Do not dominate conversations or speak over marginalised voices
🚫 Do not take photos or share personal info without consent

Online Conduct

This Code also applies to our online spaces, including Discord, Instagram, and FetLife. Please:

  • Be respectful in all discussions and interactions

  • Avoid kink-shaming, tone policing, or gatekeeping

  • Report issues or concerning behaviour to the admin team

Reporting

If you experience or witness harassment, please report it to a Core Team member in person at events or via email:

📧 hello@shibarilounge.co.uk

You may report concerns involving anyone affiliated with Shibari Lounge, including team members, presenters, volunteers, or attendees. If the concern involves a Core Team member, they will not be involved in handling your case.

We also take seriously reports of harassment that occur outside our spaces, if they involve community members. We reserve the right to act in ways that best preserve the safety of our wider community.

To protect our team from burnout and misuse, we may decline to act on reports made in bad faith or that aim to silence legitimate criticism.

Confidentiality will be respected wherever possible, and we will not publicly name victims without their consent. In rare cases, we may warn others or name individuals for the protection of the wider community.

Consequences

Anyone asked to stop harassing behaviour is expected to do so immediately.

Consequences may include:

  • A warning

  • Removal from events or spaces (without refund)

  • Banning from future Shibari Lounge spaces (physical and digital)

  • Informing other community organisers or studios

Credits

This policy draws inspiration from the Geek Feminism anti-harassment policy and the work of Annalee Flower Horne, Valerie Aurora, Alex Skud Bayley, Tim Chevalier, and Mary Gardiner. It is released under Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0).

Thank you for helping us make Shibari Lounge a safe, kind, and rope-positive space for all.